Yippee for Cleaning Day!

There is only one thing I miss about S. and my life before kids. I don't miss going out with friends, I don't miss "me-time" (I have a rant saved for that obnoxious term another day), I don't miss doing my own thing when I want to do it. All I miss is a spotless house. I recall cleaning windowsills with q-tips before Darla was born and I now can't imagine ever getting to a point in my week where that would be a priority. I still nearly laugh whenever I wipe the kitchen floor down. What a weeks worth of crumbs was for S. and me is now an hour worth of crumbs with 3 small children.

Instead of lamenting about what was, I have found delight in teaching my kids the joy of shiny clean! They are getting the idea. Now after picking up toys in their bedroom they throw themselves dramatically on the floor proclaiming, "It's so refreshing! It's the best room ever now!" (Note: this is trained, not naturally ingrained in my preschoolers) Once a week we go through our routine: Hudson empties garbages, both he and Darla help dust, Everett runs the motor on the vacuum, and everyone picks up. Then the reward is a 20 min episode of Berenstain Bears while I wipe the floors clean on hands & knees. Ahh...I love these days. By the time dinner is done it's looking like the whole house could use a deep clean all over again but I have the peace of mind that it was done.


Hudson relaxing in a 'refreshing' living room.








As I was switching laundry I heard Darla come inside and say in her best concerned-big-sister voice, "Mom! The boys are playing outside without shoes! I told them they have to wear them but they won't!" I assured her I'd come see in a few minutes...it is October after all. When I discovered them in the backyard my boys were in pants & sweatshirts...barefoot. But my daughter? Sure enough, she remembered shoes. However, she was riding her bike in shorts and a tank top. (I let them all play exactly like that until naps)

Another Moses butt kicking

I have been humbled this past week...again through the story of Moses. I was in the shower (this is where the majority of my good thoughts come from, which is part of why I take insanely long showers). I was having an honest conversation with the Lord about adoption & some of the other ventures going on in our life right now. I was feeling discouraged because some of these things are not coming as easily and naturally as I had hoped. I asked the Lord specifically about our adoption journey. "Lord, I'm getting frustrated! All this raising money, waiting, fumbling our way through... is this really what you want? If it is I'm willing push ahead but I don't want to forge a way that you haven't designed."

I was reminded of God coming to Moses and telling him "Come now, therefore and I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring My people, the children of Israel out of Egypt." After initial reluctance, Moses went to Pharaoh. And man, it was not easy! He knew God had hardened Pharaoh's heart and that God was going to be showing signs and wonders, but this hard? And this scary? Lives hung in balance, plagues, bloody water, and rebellion saturated Egypt. Eesh. Really God? That's your plan?

If I were in Moses' position I would make the assumption, "If I'm willing to obey God things will come together quickly and smoothly." In my life experience God has been very gracious to bless me when I obey. I have seen it countless times in my own little family and in my parent's lives. We honor God and he gives some fantastic provisions in fun and surprising ways: groceries dropped off on the counter, the gift of a car (and that's happened more than once!), ministries funded, children born, and I've even watched children adopted into my family quickly and miraculously.

As I ran up our hot water bill in the shower I realized that because I've seen God work quickly in big ways, I've drawn wrong conclusions about the way God "always" operates in my life. God did free the Israelites. He did get them to the Promised Land. He did use Moses and Moses did obey. But the goal wasn't only to get from point A to point B! God had a purpose bigger than milk and honey. He had to establish the Israelites as His people. He had to reveal Himself, His character, His authority to these people. They had been slaves and assimilated into a culture that was not their own. Now God had to set them apart. He gave them the Law, He gave them passion, goal, understanding of who they served. Egypt is embarrassingly close to the Promised Land. There is no way that journey had to take 40 years. Yet it did. Because the goal wasn't merely to get from point A to point B.

Here I sit...convicted, humbled, and still encouraged. I don't want to hear Pharoah's "no" and immediately assume "Oops, must not be from God. Oops, I must have heard wrong" or even "I did my part. I'm out of here." My attitude keeps me detached to some extent. It prevents me from really investing and putting myself out there. It keeps me from working really hard at what God's placed in front of me. That's not who I want to be! I want to push ahead when God's called me to something. I want to persist regardless of how it feels or what others think. When I reach the Red Sea, instead of freaking out and questioning the process like the Israelites did, I want to respond as Moses did; "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today...The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." Exodus 14:13a, 14.

This resonates with Sean and me on many levels. It's made him rethink his upward climb in a new ministry & new church. It's made me excited to work hard this week for a Fall Kid Sale we are doing at North County CTK to raise money for our adoption. Tomorrow we get to sell some donated items and though I know it's not enough items to raise the money we need, I know I can say "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today...The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace."

Hooray for new slippers!

There are valleys, but wow- the mountaintops!

Right before we moved to Mount Vernon this past summer I had an incredible weekend with Jasmine & Sommer. Amidst pots of coffee, strawberries and trail mix, we talked about Moses. We talked about how depressing the end of Moses’ life was. Moses was obedient to God and it resulted in 40 yrs wandering the desert with a group of hard hearted, draining, complaining people trailing after. He pressed on, believing that the Promised Land would be worth the heartache. Then under the pressure & frustration, Moses cracked and had an incident of disobedience. As a consequence, God didn’t allow Moses to enter the Promised Land. Ouch!
Then when Moses goes up to Mount Nebo to die, God lets him look at the Promised Land. God tells him that when the Israelites get fat and happy they’ll turn their backs on everything that God (through Moses) taught them & will cause curses to come on themselves. If it were me I would think, “All this? For nothing?!”
I struggled with this after spending a year studying the life of Moses. I thought, “He could have stayed in Egypt & lived a life of wealth, comfort, royalty.” For that matter, he could have stayed in Midian where he was a shepherd, mentored by his father-in-law, resting. Instead, he chose to follow God and it was a brutal ride with what to me looked like a sad ending. My human sympathies were left feeling a little sour.

Then the Lord began showing me Moses’ life differently. I read that he was the most “humble man to walk the earth”. I read about him seeing the glory of God. He constantly poured his heart out to a God who audibly answered!
He experienced severe valleys: plagues, hunger, bitter companions. He understood fear: can you fathom coming out of a valley leading millions of people only to realize you are trapped by the Red Sea & Egyptians?
Oh, but Moses also saw unbelievable miracles. He led millions of people! He received the law- the first written word from God. He understood things about God that no one knew before because God chose him to reveal his character through him. Seas parted, water flowed from rocks, food fell from the sky, and armies were defeated.

Knowing what I now know about Moses I don’t think he would wish he lived comfortably or safely. He wouldn’t end with, “Man, I wish I had more in my savings account…Should’ve stayed in Egypt.” Or, “If only I had holed up with my little family in Midian and blocked out the scary world!” This is not a man who gave his 10% and then lived his own life. He put it all on the line.
I think he would say, “I obeyed. What a ride! There were valleys but wow- the mountaintops! I knew God face to face.” Then he did rest. God gave him an honorable death “His eyes were not dim nor his natural vigor diminished” (Deut. 34:7) “Since then there has not arisen in Israel a prophet like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face.” (34:10)

That weekend I told the Lord that my desire is to be able to say at the end of my life “What a ride! There were valleys, but wow- the mountaintops! I knew God face to face.” As is always the case in these conversations with the Lord, I know I don’t know the weight of what I’ve chosen.

When I got home from girl’s weekend I shared with Sean my thoughts. He, too, had been listening to the Lord and felt a pulling regarding the type of life we are called to live. After talking about living a faith-filled, don’t-hold-back kind of life, Sean said, “All weekend I’ve been thinking I’m crazy because here I am by myself with all 3 kids and I can’t get it out of my head that we should start the adoption process. I think that’s what God is asking us to obey in right now.”

So here we are. We moved to a new town the same week we had that discussion and soon after turned in an application to our adoption agency. It’s looking like we will be adopting a young toddler/baby from an orphanage in Ethiopia. The agency is relatively inexpensive for international adoption but it will still probably cost us between $15,000- $18,000. Here begins the faith! Our next packet of paperwork is sitting in my drawer waiting for a $2,900 check to accompany it. Every emotion possible accompanies this journey. How thankful we are that we know the One who orchestrates the journey!